Bride to Be ~ Planning

A QUICK PRIMER ON WEDDING INVITATIONS

• Budgeting
• Checklist
• Invitation Wording
• Special Circumstances
• Accessories
• Envelopes
• Assembling and Mailing

BUDGETING

Invitations and stationery comprise 3 to 5% of the average wedding budget. This might include save-the-date announcements, wedding invitations and response cards, and thank-you notes, plus postage.

If you have additional stationery needs -- such as wedding programs, a guestbook, marriage announcements or personal stationery and/or business cards -- you may want to budget a bit more in this category.

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CHECKLIST

Completing all of the pre-wedding tasks is a balancing act that involves careful planning. Here is a suggested timeline for shopping, ordering, and mailing each of the announcements and invitations you may need:

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THE WEDDING INVITATION

A wedding invitation does two things. The wording provides essential information, while the appearance of the invitation gives your guests a glimpse of your wedding style.

Wording
If you like the formal wording of traditional invitations, in which the bride's parents (and often the groom's) request an invitee's presence, you can use it regardless of your wedding's style, formality, or who's paying. Likewise, an invitation to even the most elegant wedding can use less conventional language.

Traditionally:

a. All phrasing is in the third person (no "we" or "you")

b. No abbreviations are used. This means that everything is spelled out: middle names, streets, numbers, etc. However, there are a few exceptions. The abbreviations "Mr." and "Mrs." are proper. And while it is preferable to spell out 'Doctor" and "junior" (note the lower case "j"), the abbreviations "Dr." and "Jr." are acceptable.

c. The phrasing "request the honor of your presence" implies that the ceremony will be held in a place of worship, such as a church or synagogue. The phrasing "request the pleasure of your company" implies that the ceremony will not be held in a place of worship.

d. If you want to suggest a specific dress code, the words should go in the lower right corner of the reception card -- i.e., "Black tie" or "Beach casual."

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SAMPLE WORDING FOR SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

(divorced parents, widowed parents, etc.)

Widowed mother – not remarried – issuing invitations
Mrs. John Philip Danbury
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Laurel Anne
to
William Evan Longfellow
Saturday, the twenty-first of March
Two thousand and fifteen
at four o'clock
Silver Moon Country Club
Twelve Hundred Appletree Road
Seattle, Washington

Widowed or divorced mother – remarried – issuing invitations
Mrs. Howard James Lincoln
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Laurel Anne Danbury
to
William Evan Longfellow
Saturday, the twelfth of September
Two thousand and fifteen
at four o'clock
Silver Moon Country Club
Twelve Hundred Appletree Road
Seattle, Washington

Widowed or divorced father – remarried or not – issuing invitations
Mr. John Philip Danbury
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of his daughter
Laurel Anne
to
William Evan Longfellow
Saturday, the twenty-first of March
Two thousand and fifteen
at four o'clock
Silver Moon Country Club
Twelve Hundred Appletree Road
Seattle, Washington

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ACCESSORIES

Reception Cards
Traditionally, reception cards are included when the reception site is in a place other than the ceremony site. If reception cards are not used, put the reception information in the lower left corner of the invitation.

Response Cards
Response cards and envelopes ensure a thorough response from your guest list, as they provide a convenient fill-in-the-blank format together with a self-addressed envelope, which the host pre-stamps.

Please note the wording "will____attend" is correct, rather than "will attend_____." The line is intended for the guests either to write in the word "not" or to leave blank to indicate their presence.

Direction Cards
Preprinted enclosure cards providing directions to the ceremony and the reception site can be exceptionally helpful for your guests, especially those coming from out of town.

Map Cards
Maps often enhance directions. Some establishments provide maps.

Accommodations Cards
Out-of-town guests will appreciate the convenience of a card that lists recommended hotels in the area, along with the websites and phone numbers.

Within-the-Ribbon Cards
If yours will be a particularly large wedding, you may want to designate special seating for close relatives and select guests. Those receiving this card will present it to an usher, who will escort them to a special section, usually close to where the ceremony will take place.

Wedding Announcements
These notes formally announce the wedding to family, friends, and business associates who have not been invited. They are mailed the day after the wedding (never before).

Save-the-Date Cards
These preprinted notes are sent six months to a year before the wedding date and are invaluable if you plan to invite long-distance guests or if your wedding is planned for a popular vacation place or time.

Ceremony Programs
Unless your ceremony will be very short and/or simple, guests will appreciate an outline of the proceedings. You can also use your program to introduce the members of the wedding party.

Menu Cards
At the reception, a menu card describing the dishes you have selected will tell your guests what to expect.

Informals
This is the personalized stationery on which to write thank-you notes. Most couples prefer to include both their names on their stationery.

Table Cards
If you are planning assigned tables at your reception, these cards, which guests pick up as they enter the reception, will tell them where to go.

Place Cards
If you are planning assigned seating at each table, these will inform your guests of their assigned seats.

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ENVELOPES

Double Envelopes
Outer envelopes were once used to keep the invitation envelope clean for a more impressive presentation. Today, many invitations are sent with single envelopes for a variety of reasons, including less paper waste and because some of the fancier, custom-made envelope styles (such as our French, Bavarian, Geneva, and Swiss envelopes) are designed to be singles. If you order double envelopes and you also choose envelope linings, the inner envelope will be lined.

Addressing Envelopes
Outer envelopes and single envelopes should show full names and titles, with the address information on the line below. When you're addressing inner envelopes, only the last names of the invited guests should appear, preceded by titles (Mr., Mrs., Doctor). Invited children's first names appear under parents' names. (Invited children over eighteen still living with their parents should receive separate invitations.)

Return Address on Envelopes
Printing a return address is neater and easier than calligraphically adding it. Traditionally, only the address shows on the envelope flap (no name).

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ASSEMBLING AND MAILING

Assembling the Invitation Ensemble
When you are inserting a foldover invitation into an envelope, the fold goes into the envelope first. The insertion order is as follows: invitation, reception card, and RSVP set.

The response card should be placed face-up on top of the response envelope, which is face-down, with its flap overlapping the card. Accessories (direction cards, etc.) are never inserted inside a fold-over invitation. Inner envelopes are inserted into outer envelopes so that when opening the outer envelope, the inner envelope immediately shows the guests' names.

Mailing the Invitations
As a general rule, wedding invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks before the event date. However, if the wedding date falls on a long weekend (Labor Day weekend, for example) they should be mailed eight weeks before the event date, since people tend to make their holiday plans far in advance. You might even consider sending save-the-date cards. Before you apply stamps, one completely assembled invitation should be inspected and weighed by the post office to determine the correct amount of postage.

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For more wedding planning information, visit the authoritative source for brides at brides.com.
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